Doctor Who fic: The Other Side (1/1)

[locker_monster]

Title: The Other Side (1/1)
Rating: PG
Word Count: 6,299
Characters/Pairings: Rose, Ten, Ten/Rose
Timeline: Season two, post "Doomsday"
Summary: "Doomsday" AU; Rose is left on her own after the Doctor is pulled into Pete's world.
Disclaimer: Doctor Who belongs to the BBC and rightly so.
A/N: A big thank you tothe_sandwalker for the beta. Your suggestions were ever so helpful. Title inspired by "Song for Ten".

Time used to be an easy concept for Rose. It passed by, often too slowly some days, but it always stayed the same. Nothing could change it. No going back, no going forward. Sixty seconds in a minute. Twenty-four hours in a day. It was universal.

Then she met the Doctor and took a trip in the TARDIS. She visited days long gone, planets that didn’t even exist yet, the edge of space and then back again. Time became like clay and they could mould it to their liking. All of existence had been at their fingertips with no limitations. Life was no longer linear with the Doctor. Past, present, future; Rose could see it all in one day.

But at this moment, she wanted more than anything for time to stop.

The strength of the Void clawed at the Doctor until he could hold on no longer. His fingers slipped from the lever and he was sucked back into the waiting whiteness. For all his efforts to save Earth from two of his greatest enemies he would be joining the Cybermen and the Daleks as well in the nothingness between parallel worlds.

Rose watched, tears forming in her eyes, but she was unable to do anything. If she let go she would join the Doctor but it was the kind of eternity neither of them wanted.

Her cry of sorrow was drowned out by the howling winds. For the briefest of moments, they met gazes and everything unsaid hung between them.

And then, another figure jumped into existence. The Doctor collided with the newcomer, his path into the breach halted for a millisecond. But it was enough. Enough for Rose to see it was Pete, holding two of the dimension hopping devices. Rose’s mind swirled with thoughts too numerous to handle. He had come back for her, he could save the Doctor, they would all make it of this out alive.

Deep down though, she knew it couldn’t be.

Pete pushed the buttons on the devices before they could both tumble into the Void. In the blink of an eye, they were gone; the man who could have been her father and the man who was so much more.

With no more victims to claim, the Void died down. The breach sealed shut, the blank abyss almost folding in on itself. Rose let go of the clamp that had kept her from being pulled in. Her arms sore from holding on so tightly, she sank to the floor.

* * *

It was impossible to hate a wall so much. A blank white wall had taken away Rose’s world in more than one way. It seemed to mock her with its pristine state as she stood there, looking for a realm far beyond her reach. She could hurl obscenities at it, but a wall couldn’t talk back, couldn’t feel pain. She could do nothing to alleviate her grief except to stare at nothingness and try to picture the other side.

Fresh tears blurred Rose’s vision, turning her whole view of the world into a white mess. Her mascara was running, the remnants of it staining her hands and her sleeves where she had wiped at her cheeks.

The Doctor was gone. He had saved the world again and this was his reward. Trapped in another universe, cut off from everything familiar. Rose had vowed to follow him everywhere until the very end, until she was old and frail and nothing more than a body of memories. Never had she considered that their time together would be cut short or she would be the one to survive in the end. Every place they visited had its dangers. Why was it that home was the most dangerous of all? They should have been safe here.

Rose lashed out with a fist, her knuckles clumsily colliding with the unyielding wall. She saw the skin of her knuckles split and she saw the blood, but she didn’t feel the pain. Numb, that was what she was. She couldn’t feel anything because there was nothing left to feel.

The blood on her knuckles trailed down her fingers, making them sticky, like she had stuck her hand in the marmalade jar. Off her middle finger a single drop of blood fell to the floor. The small splash of red stood out against the white surface, a distinguishing mark amongst the dirty footprints and bits of debris. Rose looked down at that single drop then back up at her hand. Blood. It was still pumping through her. She still had life.

She ran her bloody fingertips over the white wall, marking it with red.

The TARDIS was still in the same place where she had left it; the ship hadn’t moved a millimetre during the whole ordeal. The bodies of Torchwood soldiers lay in heaps on the floor, their guns no match for the weapons of the Cybermen and the Daleks. If there were any survivors in the building they weren’t in the basement. Rose wondered if help was on the way. Did anyone know to send help to Canary Wharf?

Blood was smeared on her pocket as she pulled out her TARDIS key but she was already covered with grime from various explosions. Unlocking the door, Rose stepped inside the time machine, the one save haven.

His coat was still hanging on the railing, thrown there haphazardly. Hanging there, it looked like it was waiting to be picked up and worn again. Rose lifted it off the railing and hugged it close, almost cuddling it like a security blanket. It had taken her awhile to get used to the soft feel of the cloth against her cheek when she leaned against the Doctor after his regeneration. Before, she had become accustomed to the smell of leather and the roughness of the material.

And now they were both gone. All she had left of either of them was a coat, never to be worn again, and the one place they had called home.

Rose closed the door to the TARDIS and ran up to the console. She couldn’t fly the ship, it was all levers and dials to her, but the Doctor had shown her one function easy to understand and the most helpful. As she laid the Doctor’s coat on the back of the jump seat, she could hear his voice explaining it all.

“This switch is the most important switch in your life. It’s right up there with the light switch and the little switch on the electric kettle. The Fast Return Switch will take you back to where the TARDIS was last. Just hit the switch in the middle there and she’ll do the rest. If I’m incapacitated or you’re on your own, use it.”

On your own. It had seemed like such an impossible situation then, but now here she was, alone. Seeking out the odd three pronged control, Rose flicked the small switch in the centre. The TARDIS came to life in an instant, the time rotor rising and falling in time with the sound of the engines. This was part she loved the most, but without the Doctor running around fanatically, it wasn’t the same. The ship was moving but it felt like she was standing still.

Only seconds passed before the TARDIS came to a stop. Rose grabbed the Doctor’s coat and headed out the doors. She found herself back in the playground by the Estate where they had tried to capture one of the “ghosts”. The Fast Return Switch working as promised.

Off in the distance she could hear the wail of sirens racing through the city. The area was eerily empty.

No one saw Rose enter the flat. She collapsed onto the couch and pulled the Doctor’s coat around her like a blanket. The long day caught up with her as she drifted off into a restless slumber.

* * *

“Doctor?”

For a brief moment, Rose had no one idea where she was. She couldn’t hear the soft pulsing of the TARDIS engines and the bed was too short. It was only when she opened her eyes and the harsh sunlight pouring in through the windows hit her face did it all come back to her. Rose sighed softly as she sat up on the couch and ran her hands through her sleep ragged hair. A sharp pain from her right hand made her hiss.

The cut on her knuckles had stopped bleeding but her hand was covered with dried blood. There was even blood on her jumper where she had held her hand close to her chest during the night and some around her neck.

Shower and then a change of clothes. That was simple enough for her to handle.

Vaguely, she noticed the phone had a few messages on her way to the bathroom but she didn’t pause to check them. In the small bathroom – Rose had forgotten how tiny everything was in the flat – she stripped off her clothes and left them in a heap by the shower stall. Turning on the water to the highest temperature it would go, she let the heat and the steam loosen tense muscles and wash away any trace of yesterday.

If any tears slipped out, they were lost in the torrent of water.

Rose’s skin was bright red by the time she stepped out of the shower. The bathroom had turned into a steam room and she couldn’t see her reflection in the mirror. The small room hadn’t changed much since she began travelling with the Doctor. A minor paint job with a new shower curtain to match. It was all her mum’s stuff now. There was so sign that another person used to live in the flat.

Rose wrapped herself in a towel and found a plaster for her hand in the bathroom cabinet. Everything felt familiar but at the same time she felt like a stranger. The shower in the TARDIS was sonic and the Doctor could heal minor wounds in the infirmary. She didn’t know when it had happened, but the time machine had become home.

And the flat… The silence was unnerving. She should have been able to hear her mum moving about, making tea or chatting on the phone with a mate. Everything seemed half-forgotten, like Jackie had just popped out for a moment and would come back any minute. But no one was coming back. The one small comfort she had was the knowledge that her mum was with Pete and Mickey, people who would look after her and care for her.

Digging out some clean clothes, Rose left the flat. She couldn’t stay in there, not now. She needed to get away, clear her head.

The shops were only a short walk away but in that brief distance Rose saw she had no chance of escaping what happened yesterday. Destroyed homes, burnt cars, people sobbing in the streets; it was everywhere. The Cybermen and the Daleks had ruined more lives than her own.

Walking as far as her legs could carry her, Rose learned more about what happened yesterday beyond the walls of Torchwood. Cybermen invaded homes, Daleks murdered people on the streets. The human race caught in the crossfire. The damage was the worst in London. Cybermen appeared all over the world, but the Daleks from the Genesis Ark had only been released in the city. The time and money it would take to rebuild was going to be substantial.

Amazingly enough, the British government was denying the involvement of aliens. Joining a group in front of an electronics shop, Rose watched the latest news report on the televisions in the window. The government was claiming it was the work of terrorists who put drugs in the water. All the strange things people thought they saw were just hallucinations. Rose thought it was a load of rubbish but the people around her seemed to believe it. Terrorists made more sense than aliens.

She left, not wanting to hear more. The Doctor had risked his life to save the entire planet, again, and no one would know the threat that almost ended life on Earth. She was the only one who knew what he had done.

By the time Rose returned to the flat it was getting dark. The Estate, which was usually teeming with people, looked dead. Before, she could have expected to run into one of the neighbours on the way up.

As she unlocked the door to the flat, she heard the phone ring inside. The machine picked up before Rose could answer and she let it.

“Jackie? Where the hell are you? I’ve been phonin’ since last night. No one’s been able to reach you. Just let me know if you’re all right. Call me back when you get this message or any of the other hundreds that I’ve left. Or call Debbie. She’s barmy, waiting for a reply. Okay? Bye.”

Rose leaned back against the wall, recognizing the voice of Bev, one of Jackie’s friends. The hysteria in the woman’s voice wasn’t hard to miss. Looking at the machine, she saw over fifty messages waiting. Rose moved to pick up the phone, but she hesitated and pulled back her hand, like she was afraid the phone would bite. In her hesitation, the phone rang again.

Moving decisively, Rose picked up the Doctor’s coat from the couch and headed back out, leaving before she could hear the message.

Inside the TARDIS, all was quiet, the engines pulsing softly in the background like a beating heart. She hurried through the console room, pausing only for a moment to throw the Doctor’s coat over the railing, before continuing down to the living quarters. Passing her room she went straight for the Doctor’s. In her two years with him she had never been inside. In fact, the only time she had seen him sleep was after his regeneration. He used the room to change and that was all it seemed.

Despite her urgency, Rose didn’t burst into the room. She slowly opened the door and peeked her head in, as if to make an apology for interrupting, but the room was empty, save for a bed, a workbench, and a wardrobe. The Doctor’s room was much like the other rooms in the TARDIS, with the coral-like walls and its golden luminance. The bed was neatly made though it looked like no one had ever slept in it. On the workbench was a mess of machine parts and tools, both alien and human, along with a computer interface. Rose could only imagine the wardrobe was full of the Doctor’s various shirts, ties, and trainers. She stepped over the threshold, but she felt like she was trespassing. The control room had been the Doctor’s place, but this was his personal space.

But it was quiet and something different all in a place where she felt safe. It would do for the night.

With a curious eye, Rose examined some of the parts the Doctor must have been tinkering with. A few she recognized from their last shopping trip at the asteroid bazaar, where she had picked up the Bezoolium weather detector for her mum. The device was probably still in the flat, forgotten in the rush to find out the true origins of the “ghosts”.

The edge of something glossy under a pile of circuits distracted Rose and she carefully pulled it free. For the first time that day, she felt a smile tug at the corners of her mouth. It was a picture of her and the Doctor, taken on a distant planet in the future. The alien photographer had promised the picture would move after it was developed, like in Harry Potter. For hours afterwards, she had marvelled at how the picture had captured her and the Doctor smiling and waving at the camera. The picture wasn’t moving now though. The frame that housed the picture and allowed it motion had some loose wires hanging out the back. Rose couldn’t tell if the frame had broken and the Doctor had been trying to fix it or if he had cannibalized the frame for parts.

The still photo in hand, she sat down on the bed. She had been robbed of a Doctor full of life once more.

* * *

An abyss seemed to separate them. He was waiting for her, with his hand outstretched, but she couldn’t quite reach. She yearned to feel the weight of his hand in hers, to know that comforting touch again. He gave her strength and she desperately needed that now. If she could just reach out a little further, she could pull him across the void and back to her.

“Rose…”

Abruptly, Rose was pulled back into the waking world, as if someone was gently nudging her shoulder. She opened her eyes, her vision hazy with sleep, but no one was standing over her. It was just her in the Doctor’s Spartan room. She felt an urgent need to get moving though, like some unseen force was calling her.

The door to the Doctor’s room opened on its own and the lights flickered once. Rose sat up on the bed, fully awake now. The TARDIS was reaching out with a phantom hand. It wasn’t often the ship exerted its will, but when it did, it was usually subtle. A mug appearing in an empty cupboard while she had been trying to make a cup of tea; her bed turned down and her pajamas waiting after a long day of battling aliens; a book waiting for her on one of the chairs in the library. It was always something small to help her in some way, like the TARDIS was looking out for her well-being.

Wondering what could drive the ship to be so obvious in its actions, Rose left the Doctor’s room and headed for the control room. Was there danger? Had the Cybermen and the Daleks found a way back?

Was the Void between worlds open once more?

The questions pursued Rose as she quickened her pace. An invasion so soon after the recent ordeal hadn’t been a possibility she had considered. Even with the TARDIS what could she do? Holding back a threat with words never seemed to work as well as science and cunning.

Invisible strings seemed to pull at the door to the control room, throwing it open for Rose. She entered into the room, expecting warning bells or an urgent display on the screen beckoning her attention.

Someone stood at the console. It only took a moment before the person turned, noticing Rose’s presence.

“Sorry. I let myself in. I hope you don’t mind.”

Rose tucked some errant hair behind her ears as she tried to find her voice. A glimmer of hope had formed in her heart, a silly little notion she had done her best to ignore. Now she felt that hope be crushed under the weight of reality. “No, it’s fine.” Her voice was scratchy, allowing her to clear her throat to cover up her disappointment. It seemed like ages since she had spoken with anyone.

Joining Sarah Jane Smith at the console, Rose briefly ran a hand over the Doctor’s coat hanging on the railing.

“He stopped them.” It wasn’t a question. Sarah Jane was stating a fact.

“Daleks and Cybermen,” Rose confirmed with a nod. She thought of adding more but the words refused to come.

“Always in the thick of it, the Doctor.” Sarah Jane paused for a smile, to reflect on old times. “I wanted to see if he was all right,” she confessed. “Daleks and Cybermen are bad enough on their own. Your Estate seemed like the obvious place to look.”

It was easy to forget there were others who knew about the Doctor, others who had come long before Rose to travel the stars. She wasn’t the only one who would mourn his absence. “The Doctor isn’t here, Sarah,” she said quietly, a slight hitch in her voice.

“He isn’t–” Sarah Jane couldn’t finish her sentence, but her meaning was clear. The nostalgic smile evaporated in an instant.

“He’s alive,” said Rose, easing any fears. It hadn’t been her intention to cause the woman grief. “But during the battle, he was pulled into a parallel world and the way was shut. The Doctor can’t come back.” Speaking the words aloud suddenly made the situation feel real. Rose was no longer denying the truth of it. Despite all the times they had been separated and reunited, it would never happen again. She released a painful sob, as if she had been holding it deep inside. Sarah Jane pulled her into a hug and let her cry.

As depressing as the thought was, the death of the Doctor would have been easier for Rose to face. Death was final; it couldn’t be changed without consequences. But the Doctor was alive and well and she knew it. For the rest of her life she would know he was out there but she couldn’t know if he was happy or hurt or depressed. She couldn’t help and that was what made it worse.

“It feels like the world is ending, to know he’s not coming back.” The tone of Sarah Jane’s words made Rose step back and look the woman in the eye. She spoke from experience. “You can’t lock yourself away in the TARDIS, Rose. The world moves on, even if you can’t see it.”

With the sleeve of her jumper, Rose wiped away the tears from her cheeks. “I’m not hiding. I just–” Her mind drifted back to the flat. “It’s easier in here.”

Nothing seemed to escape Sarah Jane’s keen investigative reporter mind. She didn’t hesitate but she spoke her words carefully. “Did you lose someone else, Rose?”

It would have been so easy to send Sarah Jane away, Rose realized. She hardly knew this woman and had no obligation to open up to her, but through the Doctor they had a bond. Who else better to understand and listen than another who had travelled through time and space? “My mum’s in the parallel world, too. It was safer there than here, so I said good-bye and never looked back.

“She’s safe and she’ll be happy, but what do I tell her friends and family? How do I tell them they’ll never see her again? She’s not dead. They shouldn’t have to mourn for someone who’s still alive. I don’t know what to do. There’s no one. I’ve got nothing left to keep me here.”

The words were off her chest, but Rose felt no weight lifted. The burden she had couldn’t be shared.

“I told you stay, didn’t I?” said Sarah Jane. Her gaze roved around the TARDIS, as if she could see her last visit playing out before her, before she settled on Rose. “The Doctor is worth it, but you can’t spend the rest of your life waiting for him. You can settle down and live the life you would have had before the Doctor or you can continue on. You have to find your own life, the one that you really want to live. No one else can decide for you. The choice to move on is yours, Rose.”

“I know.”

Sensing no more could be said, Sarah Jane embraced Rose in an encouraging hug before saying her good-byes. Rose dropped down onto the jump seat the moment she was alone, a thousand thoughts raging in her head.

“You miss him, too,” she said out loud. The TARDIS made no indication that it heard her, but Rose knew it to be true. The Doctor and the TARDIS, the last of their kind. They had had each other but now both were truly alone. Rose wasn’t alone in her plight. She had never imagined empathizing with a ship.

Leaning back, she placed her feet on the edge of the console and listened to the solitary heart beat of the TARDIS.

* * *

She loved this part, just watching him. Running around the console, flying the TARDIS, Rose imagined the Doctor felt free. He could lose himself in his ship, in his home, and forget he was the last of his kind. And he was so full of energy. Watching him was sometimes better than drinking a cup of coffee in the mornings.

He stopped suddenly in his madness and fixed Rose with a wild grin. “Give it a go,” he offered.

“Yeah?” She hopped off the jump seat.

“Here.” The Doctor gestured to the section of the console he was working. “You can set our destination.”

It was a complete hodgepodge of dials and switches and buttons. Rose wasn’t sure what she should do. She had never really stopped to think about what all the parts on the console could do. “I’m not gonna blow us up if I hit the wrong thing?”

“Nah. Takes more than a wrong setting to harm the TARDIS. More likely you’ll rip a hole in time and space and cause a galaxy to implode.” The Doctor continued to grin. “So, where do you want to take us?”

Rose smiled back. “I dunno. Give us a hint.”

Instead of a suggestion, the Doctor took Rose’s hand in his. He placed her hand on a large circular dial but kept his hand over hers. “You can sweep the dial back and forth. It finds the nearest galaxy.” She gave the dial a twist, not even looking how far she had turned it. Her gaze never left the Doctor and that grin of his.

“So that’s it? A turn of a dial?” Moments like these, light-hearted moments when they didn’t exist anywhere in time and space, were Rose’s favourite. In limbo, they were literally the only two people in the world.

“Keypad.” The Doctor moved Rose’s hand without looking. “Enter a set of numbers for the spatial coordinates.”

She chose a set of seven digits, selecting the buttons at random. The Doctor remained close by, his hand hovering just above hers. “And?” Rose playfully drew out the one syllable.

“This one button here.” He guided her hand to the right place. “Just one push and we’ll be somewhere new.”

Rose felt a tingle of excitement run through her, having chosen the place they were going to visit on her own. Anywhere you wanted, right at your fingertips. “Off we go then.” She pressed her hand down.

The TARDIS gave a sudden lurch and Rose was thrown off her feet into the jump seat. The chair stopped her fall, roughly knocking the wind from her lungs, and she gratefully held onto the edges of the cushion as she waited for the time machine to settle. By the time she had let out a shaky breath things were back to being on an even ground.

“Not bad for the first time,” muttered Rose. “What do you think, Doctor?” She automatically paused for a response but there was none. “Doctor?” She glanced over to where they had been standing.

The console room was empty.

Rose slowly eased herself off the jump seat. Had she imagined it all? But she could still feel the Doctor’s hand over hers, the proximity of his body. His manic energy, she could feel that in her body, too. The time rotor was moving. The last she remembered the TARDIS had been stationary on Earth. If the TARDIS was moving, where the hell was she?

After taking one step towards the doors, she came to a halt. Her breath caught in her throat and her heart started to hammer in her chest. She was dreaming. That had to be it. This was a dream.

“Rose.”

It was a struggle to find words. Her emotions clashed with her reasoning. She wanted this to be real, but it was impossible. Finally, she managed one word. “Doctor.”

He looked like a ghost. Rose could see the other side of the room through him. The sight of him unnerved her. It was like speaking to the dead.

“Where–” She swallowed back tears. “Where are you?”

The Doctor, the transparent image of him, turned his head to look around. Whatever he saw, only he could see. “I’m on a beach. Sky’s a bit gloomy, but the waves are crashing and there’s a nice breeze.”

He spoke so casually, like all those times he would describe a planet to her before they landed. “I can barely see you.” Rose reached out with a hand, wanting so much to touch him, to reassure herself he was really there.

“There’s a lever on the console, near the Fast Return Switch. Big plastic handle. Pull it down to the last position.”

She hesitated to turn away, as if the moment she took her eyes off the Doctor he would disappear again. Silly as that sounded, Rose kept him visible from the corner of her eye as she sought out the right control. Hearing his voice gave her strength, enough to push back the confusion and give her some focus. It took three hard tugs to pull the lever into the last position. Something heavy clanked inside the console and the engines gave a whine, reminding Rose of a car engine being revved.

“What did I do?” She looked back to the Doctor. He was slowly transforming before her eyes. His image became clearer and more solid, like the TARDIS when it materialized back into existence. A second later, he appeared whole again. The only thing that shattered the illusion was the subtle breeze playing with the Doctor’s hair.

“You opened up the TARDIS engines to their full extent. She’s pulling in more power to boost the physic signal.”

“I don’t understand. How are you doing this?”

“You’re orbiting a supernova.” An image of a brightly coloured swirl of gases appeared on the console screen, as if summoned there by the Doctor’s words. Rose could imagine the TARDIS was listening intently right now, happy to hear the voice of her pilot once more. “It’s allowing the TARDIS to receive a transmission through the last crack between worlds.”

“You’re here to say good-bye.” She could sense it in his words and his tone of voice. All the technical stuff was a distraction, a way to avoid his true intent. There was truly no way back to this reality.

“I guided you here to take advantage of the supernova’s energy. The walls are weakest here. I’m in Norway,” the Doctor added with a weak chuckle.

The dreams. Rose understood now. They were more than dreams; they were a message from the Doctor telling her where to go. So this was it. Their last chance to say the things they never had time for. She so wanted the Doctor to be standing in front of her for real so she could embrace him one more time.

“How long do we have?” asked Rose.

“I don’t know,” the Doctor admitted sadly. He always knew. Rose could see the uncertainty, which used to be so appealing in their travels, was troubling him. “However long I can keep up the physic link. But I can feel the crack closing.”

With an abrupt end looming, Rose couldn’t think of anything to say. “How’s my mum?” That seemed like a sensible first question.

“Good. They followed me here, Jackie, Pete, and Mickey. I went ahead to find the weak point. You can talk to them if they get here in time.”

“She and Pete…” Rose couldn’t quite bring herself to say “Dad”. The man looked like her father but he had made it clear she wasn’t his daughter. “They’re happy?”

The Doctor hesitated, just for a moment, and it was enough to make Rose’s heart sink. She had told her mum to go to the parallel world, that it would be safe there. “Oh, Jackie will probably slap me for telling you this. She’s pregnant.”

“Pregnant?” The good news hit her like a punch to the stomach. Rose was overwhelmed as well as pained. She had a sibling on the way but one she would never get to see. “Do they know?” she asked instead. “Boy or girl?”

“They want to be surprised. Mickey’s pushing his name if it’s a boy.”

They shared a laugh but it felt forced and died quickly, a silence lapsing between them. It must have been her imagination, but Rose swore she could hear the barest whisper of waves hitting the surf. She felt compelled to break the silence and not waste the precious time they had left. “What will you do now? If you can’t come back…”

“Live a proper life, I suppose. Pete’s given me a job at Torchwood and Mickey found me a flat. I pay a rent now. Me!”

It sounded so normal, so beyond the scope of the Doctor. It was the kind of life Rose had left behind. Could she even go back to working to that now? Working at a shop and living life day by day after all she had seen in the universe?

“It won’t be easy,” said the Doctor. “I’m sorry.”

The switch in topics didn’t slow Rose. “This isn’t your fault. I stayed and that was my choice. I’ll find a way to manage.”

If the Doctor wanted to argue further he chose not to express his concerns. “The TARDIS can be left on her own. Leave her somewhere on Earth to gather dust.”

“Doctor, I can’t. This is your home.” It sounded too much like she would be leaving the ship to die.

“The TARDIS will understand. She deserves a rest.”

Rose couldn’t deny it any longer. Things were ending. The universe had decided to move on even if she had chosen to stand still. Her promise to herself to travel with the Doctor forever would go unfulfilled. The last of the Time Lords was on his own and so was she.

A tear splashed onto the back of her hand. She hadn’t even realized she had started to cry. The Doctor watched her, his expression sombre. He couldn’t comfort her.

Rose blinked back her tears and looked the Doctor right in the eyes. If this was going to be her last chance… “I lov–”

The Doctor suddenly disappeared, like he had never been there.

The last syllable died on her lips. Any tears Rose had been holding back streamed down her face and all she could taste was salt. She sank back against the console and her hand brushed up against the Fast Return Switch. Earth had nothing to offer her now, but it was better than drifting in the depths of outer space.

Rose hit the switch to return her to London once more. She gripped the edge of the console with such ferocity it made her fingers ache. The cut on her knuckles throbbed with pain but she barely felt it. Awash with misery, it all blended together.

A small shudder rattled the TARDIS to announce the ship’s landing. The Doctor’s coat slipped off the railing and cascaded to the floor. Rose snatched it up, fearing it might pick up dirt and dust off the floor. Clutching the coat, a tangible remnant of the Doctor, overwhelmed her with a weight of emotions. The console room suddenly felt confined and airless, like the space was closing in on her.

She ran to the doors and threw them open, gulping down the fresh air as if it were water. The first few breaths helped to clear her head and the few after that calmed her racing heart. Overhead, the clouds broke and sunshine streamed down onto the small playground. The warmth of the sun felt invigorating, a change from the clean atmosphere of the TARDIS. Approaching from the Estate, a few children had ventured out to enjoy the sunlight. Other people were out walking their dogs or visiting the shops.

A light breeze caressed Rose, tousling her hair and drying the tears on her cheeks. She always enjoyed this playground, even after she had grown too big for it. It had provided a space away from the flat when it had felt too cramped for her to think or relax. Her own little refuge.

The children could see her now but she ducked back into the TARDIS before they could run over and start asking questions. Still holding the Doctor’s coat, Rose left the console room.

Coats. How odd that they were all she had left of the Doctors she had known. The time machine had belonged to both of them, but their attitudes and clothes had been their own. Underneath it all though, she knew them to be the same man. The same, lonely man who had shown her a bigger world than the Estate and who had shared with her a life full of wonder and horrors.

In the TARDIS’ massive wardrobe, Rose found a spare coat hanger and hung the Doctor’s coat on it. The black leather jacket the previous Doctor had worn hung over the side of an antique mirror and was displayed such that it caught Rose’s eye. She hooked the Doctor’s brown coat on the other side of the mirror, the hem nearly touching the floor. With her reflection in the middle, she was flanked on either side with memories.

Time couldn’t be stopped, not even with the TARDIS in her possession. A life waited for her, whether it was on Earth or beyond the stars. Rose had learned a long time ago a life was more than the passing of the days. She would live for him.

And hope that one day fate could bring them together again.